


Monochrome Birthday

by ScaredOfHam



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Birthday Cake, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), it's makoto's birthday and I'm gayyyyy, why yes I did gift this fic to makoto because i'm garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 01:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScaredOfHam/pseuds/ScaredOfHam
Summary: After the events of the Tragedy, Class 78 stays barricaded inside Hope’s Peak Academy. With nothing left to hold her back, Sayaka confesses her true feelings for Makoto.





	Monochrome Birthday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Makoto Naegi](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Makoto+Naegi).



> Edit- Thanks to @TellThemNaegi for pointing out something I did wrong! If you like Naezono, I'd highly reccommend checking them out, they're incredible!

She’d never even realized it before. After all, there _was_ a fake, fluorescent heat from the spotlight. From the flash of a million cameras. From the superficial love of an even higher amount of fans.

 

With all of this, how was it possible for Sayaka to realize just how cold she truly was?

 

The foreboding dread festering inside her was easily ignored with the help of her determination. If she just worked hard enough, it’d be okay. It didn’t matter that she’d had to do some… not so fun things to reach her dream. It didn’t matter that she had done more than enough research and had more than enough common sense to know that idols came and went faster than headlining news stories. If she just worked hard enough, she would get to pursue her dream forever and ever.

 

Especially after she got into Hope’s Peak. She could accomplish anything here. Everything was going _perfect-_ the even bigger boost in fame, the helpful advice from experts in multiple fields to let her talent blossom even further, the warmth bubbling inside her heart from the genuine affection from all her classmates… It was enough to ignore the frigid fear about her future.

 

And truly, that fear soon went away- how could she worry about that when _the whole world was falling apart?_

 

Despair. Despair washed out everything. Despair took everything the world had- the lives, the food, the clean water, the stable weather, the stable anything… If despair could take that, it was only natural that it could also take her fans. Her cherished groupmates- no, _her dearest friends._ Her father. Each and every last one of her dreams. All crumbling into nothing before her every eyes. It didn’t matter how well she could sing or how smoothly she could dance. Nothing she did could help what happened.

 

All of the fake warmth evaporated. She was left with nothing but the cold inside of her, amplified by the freezing cold of the rest of the decaying world.

 

To lock herself inside with the rest of her classmates… What was the point? What was Sayaka Maizono without her dreams? What was the point of living anymore? Everything she’d ever known was gone, just like that. Why bother? Why do anything besides lay there and die…?

 

That internationally famous voice didn’t sound nearly as pretty when it was hoarse from sobbing, her cries echoing in her ears even with how big her dorm was, even with her face buried in her tear-soaked pillow. Why keep living? Why do anything? Why why _why-_

 

 _Knock, knock_. “Maizono-san?” The idol didn’t move; she knew she’d locked her door before coming here to cry. She didn’t need to tell him to leave, he couldn’t get in anyway-

 

She heard the door open and jumped, removing the pillow from her face to see a very flustered Makoto standing in the doorway. “Ah- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in!” His hands covered his eyes, his face just as red as hers probably was from all that crying. “But I heard you were the only one to not promise to stay here to Kirigiri-kun and I came to check on you and I heard you crying and the door was unlocked and I was worried and what’s wrong, Maizono-san?”

 

A million rehearsed answers bubbled on her lips, but what was the point anymore? “What _isn’t_ wrong?’’

 

Upon hearing the broken, utterly foreign tone of her voice Makoto dropped his hands to look at her, his brow creased. “M-Maizono-san…”

 

“I can’t- _I can’t take it anymore!”_ Even she was surprised at the wail leaving her lips. “I don’t- I don’t know what’s happening with my groupmates, my f-father! I don’t… Everything, everything I’ve worked so hard for is _gone_! Why should I bother to stay here?”

 

The look of hurt and worry on his face took her aback. “No, that’s wrong! It’s not gone!” He was so stupid and innocent and it was usually so refreshing but now it only aggravated her further.

 

“Yes, it is!” She shrieked. “Everyone is dead, Makoto!” Usually, she’d opt for a more respectful form of address, but again, what was the point of keeping up her bubbly, cheerful, unfazed persona? Nothing mattered anymore! “All I’ve ever wanted was to be an idol! I’m _nothing_ without-”

 

Before she could finish her sentence Makoto had closed the distance between them and wrapped her tightly in a hug. She went stiff for a moment- since when he do such bold things? Oh, that’s right… He always did bold things for her, didn’t he? ...Just like that, the fight died out and she basically collapsed into him, screaming into his shoulder. Things like “It’s not fair,” and “there’s no point,” and “I can’t take it anymore,” and “it’s hopeless-”

 

He tightened his grip on her. “It’s not hopeless.” She couldn’t see his face, but his voice sounded almost uncharacteristically sure.

 

She closed her eyes, feeling the fabric of his familiar (safe) hoodie clinging to her face from a makeshift glue of her tears. “But it is… It is. It’s… It’s despair.” Her voice had the kind of misery people just didn’t hear from teenage idols.

 

“No, it’s not!” His voice sounded… Powerful. More than hers ever had. “You’re still Sayaka Maizono, the Ultimate Idol! You’re still the same person you were before this happened!” He pulled her away with the same gentleness associated with fragile glass dolls, giving her a soft smile. “It’s really not over. You’re still everything you wanted to be. You just… Don’t have as big of an audience anymore…” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment; his breath felt warm against her face. “You said you wanted to make people smile, right? You make all of us smile just being here.”

 

That sweet smile of his own, those gentle eyes that looked at her like she wasn’t yesterday’s garbage… Sayaka looked away, lips quivering. “So what?” Words she would usually never say tumbled out freely. “We’re all friends, that’s not what I wanted! I wanted to, to r-reach past everything and just make… Make someone feel the same way I did.” Her breathing turned to hyperventilating again. “That’s never going to happen again. Never ever-”

 

“How did you feel then?”

 

The question made her stop to think. What was the word to use for it…? She’d felt happy. Of course she had, that was the point of an idol. Enlightened. Passionate. Inspired. Hopeful, warm, there were a million different feelings associated with the world of stardom for her younger self that still held (mostly) true to this day.

 

“I… felt good.” Why try at anything anymore, let alone this pointless conversation. “I wanted to make other people feel good.”

 

“But you do! You make me feel good!” There it was again, that hopelessly optimistic voice she always heard from him that made no sense because the world was over, _the world was literally over-_ “I… Maizono-san, I’m not naïve enough to think I’m that important to you.”

 

 _…?_ The sudden shift in tone made her look at his face again, see the sad smile on his face that broke her heart. “But you’re not going to be forgotten here. I… I think you’re the very best, compared to anyone!” His face flushed softly. “Even if no one outside will get to hear you anymore… We all want to see your career keep going. Your performances make all of us smile. Make me smile.”

 

She looked to the side again, her hand rising up over her heart as if to shield it. How could he just always know the exact right things to say like this? He remembered everything she told him… He held her now without wanting anything in return. Tentatively, she pressed her hand forward, rested it over his chest instead. Meeting his eyes, tears still swelling up in her own. “...Makoto. Thank you.”

 

His face pinkened further, but he didn’t look away. “I… I mean it. Your dreams and your work and your passion… It just can’t all be for nothing! It just can’t!” That innocent hope in his voice.. Part of her wanted to scream, _the world isn’t actually that easy!_ But… he just… He had to be right. Right? It couldn’t be for nothing!  It just couldn’t!

 

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Makoto held her close to him, and it didn’t take a psychic to tell he only cared about comforting her. Someone so sweet and genuine just wasn’t feasible in the idol industry, and yet, here he was, someone that had been there the whole time. He was so, so soft and _warm…_ Maizono rested her head on his chest, listened to his heart race the way it always did around her.

 

For a moment she returned the hug, hearing a little gasp from him that made her smile; then she was backing away, carefully getting out of bed and wiping her face clean with her hand. “M-Maizono-san? What are you doing?”

 

“I’m going to go tell Kirigiri-kun I’ll stay here in Hope’s Peak.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

They hadn’t been here for too long, but it felt like centuries. Lucky for them, Chihiro had had the foresight to keep track of what day it was, which was how she knew that today was February 5th. Naegi’s birthday! They had decided to throw a party for him, all of them together! Which was great, of course, not only because Makoto would love that, but because it gave her plenty of opportunities of her own to slip away and make preparations for her _own_ surprise party.

 

It’d been quite a while since she had to cook, but it all came back so easily. A good thing about his birthday being in February was that she had a good excuse to make the cake heart-shaped, but well, she was planning to confess today regardless.

 

Of course, she’d always known he had a crush on her. He wore his heart on his sleeve in a way that was genuinely endearing. It probably didn’t take a psychic to realize she felt the same way, but well, an idol couldn’t have a relationship. Now, though, she was free to do whatever she wanted, so why not look on the bright side? Oh, Makoto’s optimism was wearing off on her so quickly…

 

Food. Food was good- she could eat as much of it as she wanted now, too, not that she would let herself indulge too much. What else could she do for his birthday? She honestly didn’t have too many ideas besides singing and cooking, but for what it was worth, at least he’d be pretty happy with that.

 

She was also pretty good at decorating- red icing over a chocolate heart-shaped cake, maybe she should make some brownies to go with it-

 

The sound of the locked door opening made her jump so hard she squirted red icing onto her dress. What the- Oh, of _course_ it was Makoto, looking a bit surprised to see her there. She wasn’t sure if this was part of his “talent” or if someone had cursed her ability to have some privacy. “Oh, hi Maizono-san! Why are you all dressed up now?”

 

She giggled. “Well, it is your birthday, y’know? That calls for doing things a bit special!” She was wearing the outfit he’d once mentioned was his favorite, though maybe not so much now that there was a red streak down the side. She regretted it even before that, though- poofy dresses were so hard to cook in, even if she was used to dancing in them...

 

His face flushed. “Not really… But thanks.” He titled his head to try to see the table. “What are you doing-”

 

Sayaka scurried to hide it with her arms. “Nuh-uh-uh! It’s a surprise~!” She waited for him to back off before grabbing some napkins and trying to remove the mess- it wasn’t coming out very well, but well, she had all the time in the world to learn how to get the stain out later. “Be a good boy and sit down, okay?” He, of course, did just as she said; Sayaka smile softly as she added the last few touches, added a fork and knife, then carried it to over to him.

 

Those big, innocent eyes somehow went even wider when she placed it there. “M-Maizono-san! You didn’t have to do this!”

 

“But I wanted to!” She gave him a hug from behind, feeling his whole body stiffen in shock. Oh, he was so innocent and cute… She nestled her chin onto his shoulder, breathing in his scent. “Do you like it?”

 

“O-Of course I do! I’d like anything you made for me!”

 

“You should try it!” Makoto quickly obeyed again, grabbing a fork and knife and carefully cutting into it. She’d wrote in a pastel lime green, “Happy Birthday Makoto!” alongside a few cutesy hearts. It was one of them that he carefully took out, placing it on a paper plate she’d left on the table and then cutting a tiny piece, bringing it to his lips.

 

Somehow his eyes went even bigger, and with his mouth semi-full he gasped, “This is soooooo good!”

 

She giggled again. “I told you I knew how to cook!” She finally removed herself from his side, getting a glass of milk from the fridge and sliding it to him before sitting across from him. In the time she’d done this he’d already managed to eat about half of his piece, this time covering his mouth with his hand before saying, “You should try some, it’s sooooo good!”

 

Another giggle. “You already said that, Makoto-chan!” He was so cute she could hardly stand it! She grabbed a spare fork, teasingly scooping a bit off the end of his piece. Of course, it was good, practically melting in her mouth the same way she’d figured it would. “I’m glad it turned out this good, it’s just what you deserve!”

 

His face flushed. “N-No, that’s not true…”

 

“But it is!” She asserted.

 

He shook his head. “No, really. I’m nothing special-”

 

“But you are.” She grabbed his hands, forcing him to meet her eyes. “You saved me, Makoto. And I…” She glanced away. “I have a song for you.”

 

“H-Huh?”

 

“You’ve heard it before, but, well…” Her old peppy idol expression came back. “Now you’ll be hearing the acapella version! You’re the only one that gets to besides my showerhead!” Makoto looked confused. “Y’know, like singing in the shower? I know showerheads can’t hear, silly!’’

 

“How did you-”

 

“Know what you were thinking? It’s ‘cuz I’m psychic!” Her face lit up in genuine joy at the familiar banter, so happy she could share such a close relationship to someone so sweet and supportive. Someone who somehow saw all the ugly sides of her but had stayed by her side regardless…

 

She stood up, striding to an area in the kitchen that wasn’t occupied by tables or whatnot. Oh… It was a bit awkward without music or lights. Should she just start…? Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before starting to sing, only going two syllables at most before she started to dance along as well, hair bouncing around her as the imaginary spotlight shone down on her.

 

_“...My heart won’t stop thumping…”_

 

She could practically hear his heartbeat as he watched her, like singing and dancing in the kitchen was something he wasn’t used to. Not that she’d ever let anyone see her do that… Smiling wide, she carried on with the rigorous dance she always did, her hand gestures in synch even when she wasn’t holding the mic she usually performed with.

 

_“...Monochromatic love embraces the two of us;_

 

_Even difference in temperature feels lovely-”_

 

Makoto’s eyes were focused solely on her, shining with a light she only saw there when he looked at her. How could someone so pure really care this much for an idol…? His eyes , his eyes… His eyes were oh, so warm. Her resolve, her cheeky cutesy idol-shaded plans for how the rest of their “party” would unfurl all melted away.

 

Her body stopped mid-bounce- she saw Makoto’s eyes widen before she closed her own.

 

_“Monochromatic sight, I’m sure I’m the only one colorful…”_

 

Her voice turned somber, the song slowing down as it never had before.

 

_“I like the uncertain parts too…”_

 

Each lyric dripped with emotion, her body swaying slowly to a beat only she could hear- the slow beat of her heart, stable and safe when she looked at him, nothing like the cutesy “doki doki” she’d mentioned in the first verse. As a matter of fact, the lyrics could use a bit of a change…

 

_“I’m sorry… I didn’t give you more of a chance._

 

_It hasn’t turned out like the sweet middle school romance_

 

Her eyes fluttered open, seeing how surprised he was at the complete change of an old song. Smiling softly, she continued off the top of her head.

 

_“You whisper, “It’s okay,” gently patting my head_

 

_My monochromatic heart lights up in shades of red…’’_

 

He was blushing so hard…! It was hard to sing through the huge smile on her face.

 

_“...Monochromatic dreams will be in color if I’m with you”_

 

Her hand rose over her heart, her eyes focusing on his directly.

 

_“I sure feel that way”_

 

She started to walk closer to him.

 

_“Monochromatic future, no full color”_

 

She closed the distance, grabbed his soft, soft hands.

 

_“If we’re together, we can shine!_

 

_If we melt into these monochromatic halls, they’ll become colorful_

 

_I like the unclear parts too-”_

 

Her voice dropped out of its singing tone, saying the last line as a statement: “...Tell me the clear answer.”

 

Makoto’s hands shook in hers. “Is… Are… I…” His voice trembled adorably.

 

She pulled him into a hug, kissing his cheek and feeling him shake like she was a goddess. Blushing herself, she murmured, “I love you, Makoto. I… I thought that you should know that. You’ve done so much for me.”

 

He returned the hug, burying his face in her shoulder. “I- I love you, too. I’d do anything for you.”

 

“I know… Ah, Makoto.” Now her heartbeat as the song had foreshadowed. “I... I don’t deserve you.”

 

“That’s not true! If anything, it’s the other way around!” He looked into her eyes. “Y’know… I think most people out here would get lucky just to have someone to spend their birthday with. And I’m here getting a surprise party from the most amazing person in the world… I really must be lucky, huh?”

 

She shrugged. “That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?” She laughed at his disappointed expression, kissing the tip of his nose. “Sorry for teasing you, you’re just too cute!” Her tone sombered yet again. “I just… I’m so happy you’re here for me.”

 

To her surprise, he actually pressed his lips against hers- oh. They weren’t anything like she’d experienced before, soft and not pushy in the slightest. Breaking away after too short of a time, he pressed their foreheads together and murmured, “I’m here for you no matter what.”

 

She tightened her hold on him. “And I’m here for you, too. No matter what. I… I owe you my life, Makoto.” She smiled. “I… I’m really happy. We get to be here, together… Forever. There’s not any… Stress about work anymore. I get to do what I love… And be with who I love. Until the very end.”

 

“Don’t say that…”  He murmured, nestling into her shoulder.

 

“It’s okay… It’s all gonna be okay from now on. Don’t you always say that?” She ran her fingers gently through his hair. “Happy birthday, Makoto. I promise your next one will be even better.”

 

“How could it get any better than this?”

 

“It will!” She chirped, resting her chin on his scalp, cheek against his ahoge. “And, Makoto? One more thing?”

 

“Yeah?”

“Before… When you were comforting me. You said you knew you aren’t important to me…?” He looked up at her, seeing blue eyes as serious as a murder scene. “That’s not true. You’re so important to me. I’m… I’m so glad I’ll never have to see a world without you.” She cupped his face in her hands, not giving him time to speak. “...I love you. Happy birthday.”

 

~~~~~~

In a world full of despair, there isn’t much as far as plants went. Especially not Hope Plants. But by some miracle, Yasuhiro has found some of the good stuff. He doesn’t even have to work today! This was the kind of luck that other dude must have all the time! Speaking of lucky students, he needed to go tell Naegi!

 

Sure, it was pretty late at night, but hopefully his best friend would be awake as he pushed open the door to his room-

 

-and heard quiet sobs. Immediately he flicked on the light. “Hey, dude? Is that you?”  


“H-Hagakure-kun?’’ He glanced away from the pillow he was cradling to his face, eyes puffy and red.

 

Yasuhiro frowned. “Bad dream again?”

 

“...Y-Yeah.”

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”  


“N-No. I… I think I’m just gonna go back to bed…” Makoto wouldn’t meet his eyes. Yasuhiro was worried, but he could definitely get the vibe that Naegi wanted him to leave him alone.

 

“Uh, okay. Good night…” Hagakure turned off the light and closed the door, and the room was flooded in darkness once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, sorry this sucked. And sorry I haven't been posting. I'm genuinely working on my Komaegi requests I promise I just wanted something birthday-themed to post today because I'm upset I missed Leon's still (I worked on one but it sucked so bad I decided not to post it) and just. I simultaneously love and hate this fic and just ugh. Life really hasn't been going well and that's why I went from posting every month to posting every fucking six months or so and I hate it so much but this isn't the place to bitch about that. 
> 
> Comments/kudos/bookmarks are all very appreciated! I'm doing my best to work on my other fics and have them up soon, I'm just unfortunately very busy which is why this isn't as good as it could have been... I wrote it in a few hours and rather than sit on it so I can edit it when my head clears, I'm posting it because I ALREADY MISSED LEON'S I WON'T MISS EGG'S GOD DAMN IT. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I love you all <3


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